LAND OF THE LOST

 

 

lost items

This land has nothing to do with dinosaurs or lost civilizations, it is a land for lost personal items. There must be thousands of portals to this land that is full of items that we swear we just saw a minute ago. We’ve all been there before, on our hands and knees searching for something that we had just put down moments ago and somehow the item has vanished. Has it disappeared forever into the Land of the Lost? Or, will it be recovered before it falls thru the magic portal that loves to suck up everyday items? All of us, at some time or another, have had that feeling of panic when we realize that we have misplaced something. We retrace our steps, look in every nook and cranny (including the couch cushions) and decide it must have sprouted legs and fallen into the secret passageway that leads to a whole land of lost items. The Land of The Lost has an abundance of certain items and keys is right on top. Searching for them takes time and causes massive frustration as you are usually in a rush to get going before you realize that your keys are missing. If your keys slip into this lost land it can also be unexpectedly expensive to replace modern car keys which are microchipped and can cost hundreds of dollars to replace. Losing car keys sucks big-time. Living right next to keys in the Land of the Lost are sunglasses. How many times have you set these down never to be found again. It can take hours to find the right pair and in seconds they are gone forever. I’ve lost so many sunglasses that I just consider it in the cost of living. If ever found they usually are bent or broken beyond repair or you see your friend wearing the exact pair…very delicate situation. Your regular prescription eye glasses are the worst to lose because you are half-way blind looking for the only thing that can give you full vision again. Cell phones also rank among the more expensive things you can lose. The interesting thing about misplacing your cell phone is that it is usually where it is supposed to be. Have you ever freaked out that you couldn’t find your cell phone while you were using your cell phone. Because the cell phone has so many different functions, we often use it to serve another purpose, and then freak out when we don’t feel it in our pocket. Missing credit cards also cause a panic because your first thought is that some stranger is out buying a new boat with it. How many weekend mornings have you woken up from a rough night out and immediately dove towards your wallet. There’s nothing worse to add to a raging hangover than discovering your missing a credit card. How many total hours have you missed at the gym because you were spending too much time beforehand looking for your headphones? I’m convinced that headphones, especially Apple ones, have a certain life span before they just vanish. In terms of numbers socks have the largest population in Land of the Lost. Not even worth searching for, they just go away on their own. It’s as if there is a little sock troll living with us, just waiting to steal more socks…never a pair, just one at a time. Chapstick is also a lesser expensive item that can drive you crazy to hold on to. The “chapstick” theory says that the more pants that you put on in a given week, the greater chance you have of losing your chapstick. Buy this item by the bulk and stop worrying about where you put the last one. Has anyone ever used a Chapstick to the end? Restaurants have a direct portal to the Land of the Lost. Taking off a jacket and leaving it there is routine or actually having and carrying an umbrella into a  restaurant is a sure formula for leaving it there along with your doggy-bag. The good thing about leaving items in a restaurant is you can go back and recover them from the lost and found box. Have you ever noticed how all lost and found boxes look the same, a crumpled up cardboard box half-way full of the items listed above. I find some comfort in sorting thru the box that I am not the only one losing things. To keep your items from disappearing the common advice is to put your keys or other items in the same place each night. Sounds reasonable enough, but while your asleep is when most of the items crawl off their designated place and travel to the Land of the Lost. Has anyone seen my nail clippers?

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