Your right at Death’s Door, unable to move, too tired to scream, and feeling all hope is gone. Before your last gasp of air you look up and there is ______________ to save the day and you from certain death. Superheroes have a great sense of timing, arriving at the last second to drive off the evil forces. We all have grown up with them no matter your age. Even I would read the comics every time I went to the barbershop as a kid. Recent movies have made them more popular than ever…but who would you want to swoop in at your time of crisis and save your life?
1. Superman – Would be my choice, he’s the original (1938) and most iconic of all. ” Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap buildings in a single bound”. He can also fly and see thru walls…what more do you need? His biggest threat is green kryptonite. Dissenters say he doesn’t qualify because he is from a different planet, Planet Krypton, which wouldn’t bother me if I was that close to death. Named IGN’s #1 superhero of all-time. Never understood though how people didn’t make the Clarke Kent to Superman connection.
2. Batman – If I were about to die in Gotham City I would call on Batman. He seems to have that city wired. Bruce Wayne as Batman relies on his own resources to become the superhero. Batman is supercool and in the movies he kicked butt at the box office and is my favorite movie superhero. Another American icon, Batman hit the scene in 1939 and I would guess is today’s favorite superhero among the yutes. Batman is never far away, just have Commissioner Gordon turn on the bat signal.
3. Spiderman – If you want a teenager in high school to save your life, Peter Parker is your man. Getting his powers after being bitten by a radioactive spider Spiderman is a hugely popular superhero even though he came on the scene in 1962. Costume – B+, at least you can’t see his face. Trivia: The quote, With great power there must also come – great responsibility, comes from a Spiderman comic. Go save Aunt May Spiderman.
4.Wolverine – Logan has a definite attitude . Being a mutant kinda gives him a chip on the shoulder, not sure this is the guy who I would bet my life on. Part of the X-Men group Wolverine (1974) can fight with the best of them with his animal-senses and his Edward Scissorhands. He can also recover from any injury which makes me think he would take a bullet for you. In case there is any doubt, Hugh Jackman is Wolverine.
5. Iron Man – A+ for costume, in fact all his power lies in the suit he created while in captivity. Besides keeping his heart alive it also has a ton of kick-ass functions. Iron Man (1963) is a bit of a snob with his pure genius and billions of dollars, but I think he would come thru in the clutch.
6. Wonder Woman – Call Wonder Woman and Lynda Carter shows up ( Wonder Woman was a popular TV series, 1975-79 starring Carter). She is our first superheroine who made Superman jealous in her 1941 premier. She fought for justice, love, peace, and sexual equality while wearing a costume that would fit in at the Playboy Mansion. She was a bad-ass though. Wonder Woman, unlike Superman and Batman, will use deadly force when necessary and in saving my life I find that comforting. Ladies – she had killer bracelets that could reflect bullets and put some serious hurt on her enemies. Her alias was Dianna Prince and if anybody couldn’t recognize her as the same person with or without her costume has Stevie Wonder eyes.
7. Captain America – OK, I think that the all-american hero, Steve Rogers, is on ‘roids. I mean he was originally a scrawny kid that joined the Army and after the government injected him with an experimental serum he turns into super buff Captain America (1941). Maybe I’m just tainted by today’s athletes, but it sounds fairly similar. He has an fairly cool costume, a bit retro, and his shield can definitely kick-ass. I would trust him to save my life, but without real superhero powers he would not be my first choice.
8. The Hulk – A great superhero, but here’s a guy who doesn’t even like his superpowers. When he’s ripped no one can stop him, but how would you know what condition he would be in when trying to save your life. What if he wasn’t pissed off? Bruce Banner has some issues, he doesn’t even like his superhero alter-ego. He is emotionally fragile and kind of a recluse until he transforms. I love the Hulk (1962) but I can’t really trust him to save my life.
9. Thor – Thor, the hammer wielding God, is the stud of superheroes who is high on the ladies list of superheroes and certainly would be many damsels first choice to be saved by. What I like about him is that he can travel thru time which makes me think I could have him smash my enemy before he ever got to me. Thor (1962) is a Norwegian transplant so don’t make fun of his accent.
10. The Flash – Don’t know too much about this dude other than he’s fast, actually super-speed fast, actually light speed fast and he likes red. He has been a superhero since 1940 and likes to hang with his buddy, the Green Lantern. The more I learn about him the more I like him. He actually raced Superman in a foot race (tie). I just don’t feel I know The Flash well enough to ask him for such a big favor.
Let me know what superhero you would most trust to save your life?…maybe someone not on my list. I just tied Bruce Banner’s shoelaces together to see if I could piss him off.